Make sure you buy the food for Christmas and Easter today


Britain is being urged to buy all the food needed for both Christmas and Easter today, in case the shops are closed for a whole day this week.

Local shopper, Murial Hislop is desperate to buy as much shit as possible, so that she’s got loads to scrape into the bin after Christmas dinner.

Plus, Hislop needs to buy the 35 little jars of sauce, preserve, and condiment that can sit in her fridge for the next 12 months.

‘Fortunately there’s a petrol station open on Xmas day, if we still need stuff,’ said Hislop.

‘Things are tight this year, that’s why I’m spending £250 shopping, today,’ added Hislop.