Man fears he may have run out of porn

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A man has tragically run out of porn in these difficult times.

Although local handshandy expert, Peter Thape didn’t believe it possible, Thape now believes he’s exhausted the whole internet over the course of the last five weeks.

Thape told Cutting News that he’s started to recognise the same faces, hotel rooms and plot lines popping up in videos.

‘The government needs to get these porn stars back working, if we’re to get through another few weeks,’ said Thape.

‘Perhaps tonight’s applause should be directed at those who truly deserve it,’ added Thape.