Man nursing his slippers through ’til Christmas

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A Derbyshire man, who is holding out for his annual Christmas slippers, has admitted that his current ones are thinner than a politician’s integrity.

Peter Thape from Alfreton has trained his feet to miss the various floor aberrations within his kitchen as he prudently works his way towards the end of December.

Thape is now avoiding the potentially lethal grout lines on the tiled floor after a near miss with a baked-on pea nearly pierced his longitudinal arch.

‘My wife casually brushed some toast crumbs onto the floor the other day,’ said Thape.

‘Has she gone mad; they’d have gone through my feet like glass.’ Thape added.