Man still pretty confident that he’s going to the gym on Tuesday


A man who’s still enjoying the excesses of Christmas, is happily pretending to himself that this whole thing stops on Tuesday.

Local self-deluder, Peter Thape is caught between definitely starting at the gym, or definitely writing that book as his New Year resolution.

Thape has had to find new pretend resolutions this year after eventually abandoning his traditional annual boast of this is the year I’m going to sort out my career.

‘I’ve bought some really expensive trainers, so I’m definitely going to do it,’ pretended Thape.

‘Failing that, I’ve bought a really decent notebook to start my brilliant novel,’ further pretended Thape.