There are already over a million people in the queue for the shops opening in a retail park on June 15th.
If you’re reading this, we urge you to stop and quickly join a queue, so that you are in position to buy a new t-shirt, or a pair of socks from June 15th.
Local man Peter Thape needs to shop constantly to replace the emptiness in his personality, and he managed to buy two new cars yesterday as soon as the showrooms re-opened.
‘And some net curtains from the outdoor market,’ pointed out Mr Thape.
‘I must shop. I must have forty pairs of trousers at all times,’ he added.