Men busily working out how much to spend to keep out of Valentine’s Day trouble

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Men around the country are doing the maths to work out exactly how much money they need to spend to appease their wives for tomorrow’s nonsense. 

Britain’s men are hurriedly snapping up a range of gifts, booking restaurants, and desperately thinking of surprises that cost just enough to stop their wives getting angry at them. Leading Psychologist, Peter Thape believes that romance sits well below the fear of one’s wife on Valentine’s Day, and that few men genuinely subscribe to the day, which was introduced by Clinton’s Cards in 1875.

‘Men see this an annual tax, like mother’s day, and the T.V. license,’ said Thape.

‘Clever men will be trying to spend exactly the right amount. Spend too much, and you start to expect an end of the night nosh, and that’s not going to happen on a Tuesday,’ added Thape.