Mental cases going shopping


Many people, who have bravely gone a few hours without shopping, have been filling the High Street desperate to buy more shit.

Shopper, Murial Hislop, has been restricted to buying things online for the last few hours, but has thankfully got to the shops today to add to her forty spare pairs of trousers.

Hislop, who only received loads of presents a few hours ago, has wiped the frothing saliva from her face to get into those shops nice and early to buy some load of shit bargain that she doesn’t need.

‘These are very austere times, as you can see,’ said Hislop.

‘Today’s purchases will make me completely happy…for absolutely ages,’ added Hislop.