Street people’s long-distance greetings to be restricted


Street urchins, addicts, and general poor people are to be encouraged to greet one another within 20 meters, as opposed to the current standard of 100 meters. 

The wild, and passionate shouting of scallywags could be a sound lost from the High Street forever, as new legislation looks to curtail long-distance recognition.

Murial Hislop noticed street people shamelessly shouting salutations to each other outside her shop, often more than 100 meters apart; and her on-line petition quickly gained over a million signatories from sympathetic shoppers.

‘Why don’t they just meet and shake hands, like the rest of us?’ asked Hislop.

‘Or, if you particularly like, or have missed someone, a small kiss.’ Hislop added.