‘Right, let’s get stuck back into these two again,’ agree Press

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With Harry and Meghan gone, and Prince Andrew being less rapey than usual, the press may have to turn back to William and Kate.

Royal watchers are hoping that regular entertainment provider, Prince Philip will offer the usual racist gaff, or comedy car collision.

But local journalist, Peter Thape is already busy going through the bins at Kensington Palace.

‘Found an empty jar of coffee,’ said Thape.

‘How’s about…Prince has sex with Brazilian coffee heiress; yeah, that’ll do,’ he added.