‘Rise in shoplifting figures, good for the economy,’ say business leaders

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The business community are applauding shoplifters this morning after the annual figure for shoplifting showed a 2.8% rise.

The Bank of England explained that the rise in shoplifting is roughly in line with inflation, and so interest rates won’t be affected.

Shoplifting expert, Murial Hislop has won two recent shoplifting awards, and is pleased that her contribution to society is helping, in these austere times.

‘I’m in the shops all the time; buying a bit, stealing a bit – I’m keeping people employed,’ offered Hislop.

‘Stealing’s ace – you should try it,’ added Hislop.