‘Say you were in the car, mate; we’ll rinse them for compo.’


Boris Johnson has asked Michael Gove to pretend that he was in yesterday’s car collision with the Prime Minister.

Johnson turned up at parliament today wearing a neck brace, walking with a slight limp, and complaining of nightmares and headaches.

Johnson has been round the cabinet trying to get others on board for his compensation claim, including Business Secretary, Peter Thape.

‘He told me to say I was sat in the back with him; he’d fill in all the forms,’ said Thape.

‘Easiest £200 I’ll earn all year,’ added Thape.