Your local primary school is planning to send out a letter recommending a strong shampoo to help with your deadly Coronavirus.
Local Headmaster, Peter Thape has told girls to put their hair in a pony, or use two scrunchies if they have a vulnerable parent.
Pupils will applaud the nit nurse after Thursday’s sand pit playtime.
‘Each child will be fitted with a number of 2 metre sticks,’ said Thape.
‘We’re fucked, aren’t we,’ he added.