Schoolchild realises that he’s sat on the thickie table


Little Bobby Thape (4) has discovered that he’s sat with some proper numpties at school, and is starting to wonder if he’s one of them.

Little Bobby Thape has been enjoying his first year at school, and sits opposite a girl who eats all her hair, a boy who answers every question with a handstand, and another girl who drinks all the paint.

But Little Bobby has realised that the Harry Potter named tables are a loose cover for an early ranking system that could stain him for life.

‘I’ve noticed that everyone on Voldemort-our table, is a proper mong,’ said Little Bobby.

‘They’re doing proper sums on Hermione. I’ve had a good laugh on this table, but it’s time to leave these nutjobs behind,’ added Little Bobby.