Should I wash my hands after w*nking off a stranger on Friday night?

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Wanking off a stranger on a Friday night in a pub car park, or an office doorway is one of Britain’s oldest traditions, but how has it been affected by the Coronavirus?

The Health correspondent for Cutting News is Peter Thape, and he’s been receiving your virus based questions for the last few weeks.

Thape believes that washing your hands after stranger tug tug is generally good practice regardless of sudden Chinese based flu epidemics.

‘Wash the hand straight after with your nearby can/bottle of strong alcoholic based drink,’ advised Thape.

‘Or, failing that, get a morning after wet wipe from the Pharmacy,’ he added.