‘So glad things are back to normal,’ says woman covered in vomit and jizz

drunk

A woman who has woken up looking like a plasterer’s radio, has explained how pleased she is that things are back to normal.

Local woman, Murial Hislop told Cutting News that it was great to be doing all the things that make her feel normal again.

After some quality grid pissing, Hislop managed to acquire a free chicken doner in exchange for tug tug in the kebab queue.

‘Saw a brilliant stabbing outside the pizza place,’ said Hislop.

‘Got to find that morning-after pill I’ve been saving,’ remembered Hislop.