Square crisps promoted onto mouth ulcer register

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Walker’s Squares, which used to be known as Smith’s Square crisps have joined the highly prestigious list for foods that can induce instant mouth ulcers. 

The National Register for Mouth Ulcers (NRMU) was founded in the late 1970’s, after it was decided that children should suck Pear Drops and Cola Cubes for at least 6 hours per day.

NRMU Chairman, Peter Thape welcomes Square crisps to the list, especially after a recent crisp related application from Chipsticks was controversially turned down.

Chipsticks made a strong application, and we found that multiple consumption can lead to some wincing, and slight face contortion,’ said Thape.

‘But Squares are truly magnificent! A fresh bag of them can actually cut your mouth, before any minor ulceration even kicks in. Bravo!’ added Thape.