‘They don’t make pandemics like they used to,’ says old timer

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88 year old pensioner, Peter Thape has reminded us that world-wide pandemics used to involve less beach time, Domino’s deliveries, and 500 mile round trips to see parents.

Thape pointed out that in the past, it was all about surviving the virus, rather than waiting for an announcement on whether or not you can fly to Lanzarote in July.

Thape told Cutting News that he remembers a time when a virus was well made, reliable, and extremely easy to catch.

‘This is one of the shittest viruses I’ve ever seen; there’s not many more dead than flu,’ said Thape.

‘They used to have carts on the side of the road, filled with bodies,’ added Thape.