Yay! It’s National Take a Sweet off a Stranger Day


Merry Paedophile Christmas Day everyone!

Children everywhere will be walking the dark streets, and knocking on the doors of strangers tonight, in the gallant pursuit of shitty, inedible, pound-shop sweets.

Local 8 year old, Pete Thape told Cutting News that he’s happy to be bummed for a fun size pack of Maltesers.

‘The only down side is all the Swizzles Matlow stuff,’ said Thape.

‘But if you’ve got proper chocolate, send me your number now – we can do business,’ added Thape.