5 aside goalie refuses to be subbed for his cigarette break

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A dangerous precedent may have been set in the Carabao Cup Final yesterday, after reports of other goalies refusing to leave the field of play flooded in.

Five aside goalkeeper, Peter Thape refused to come off in his Powerleague fixture last night, even after the sub made the rattling noise with the slidey bit on the gate.

The manager/centre forward was absolutely furious, especially after getting hold of an absolute ringer for last night’s important league clash.

‘Fuck that, I’ve paid six pound,’ said goalkeeper, Thape.

‘It’s been five quid for years, then Jonesy takes over and suddenly it’s six…nah,’ added Thape.