Clampdown on Swingball


Swingball, the largely disappointing garden tennis game, could be banned from shops after it was discovered that another generation of children were starting to play.

Ministry of Honesty spokesman, Peter Thape believes that parents should act now to prevent their own children being lured into the game that will ultimately leave them terribly dissatisfied.

Thape has reminded parents about the inevitable missing of the low swung ball, the inability to have a rally of more than three shots, and the woefully small, but strangely thick, plastic rackets.

‘Every child will start a game of swingball; but none will ever finish it,’ warned Thape.

‘Then, at some point your child will break the racket, producing a lethally jagged toy with which to tease your other children,’ added Thape.