Conor McGregor to retire and become a classroom assistant

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Following last night’s controversial defeat, Mixed Martial Arts star, Conor McGregor is to retire from fighting and pursue his dream job of becoming a Learning Support Assistant.

McGregor starts work tomorrow morning at St. Beads County Primary, by initially listening to some of the less strong readers in the reception class.

McGregor has always seen his future within Primary education, having recently qualified as a Special Educational Needs (SEN) classroom assistant.

‘I keep telling the pupils that fighting is a failure of being able to express oneself through regular discourse and dialogue,’ said McGregor.

‘How can I tell the children not to fight at playtime, if I’m off to Vegas every five minutes,’ added McGregor.