England fans to clean up their own piss off the terraces


England fans, who are widely accepted as the gentlemen of world football, are to join the trend set by Japan and Senegal fans of cleaning up after themselves at the end of each match.

Fans will tidy up their piss and vomit off the terraces and gangways, and have promised to keep beary meat pie farts in check for the next England game.

One-in-a-thousand genuinely nice England fan, Peter Thape is planning to take a roll of bin bags to the Panama game on Sunday.

‘I once politely asked a fan who was standing up in front of me to sit down – how do you think that ended?’ quizzed Thape.

‘I’ll try and hand out the bin bags as we’re singing…No surrender to the IRA ,’ added Thape.