Footballer that wins the lottery probably got a massive knob, too


A professional footballer who has won the National Lottery has posed the question of whether we play too many games over the festive period.

Footballer, O’Connor sat in the National Lottery press conference alongside his girlfriend (Doctor Who companion, Clara Oswald) and asked why he’s being asked to play football every three to four days.

O’Connor, who recently found 50p in a grid, with which he bought a Wonka Scrumdiddlyumptious bar, which happened to contain the elusive fifth Golden Ticket, couldn’t hold back the tears.

‘What sort of world are we living in?’ pleaded a heartbroken, O’Connor.

‘I have to go home and try and make love to this woman with all the awful things that happen,’ added unlucky, O’Connor.