‘I promise to take West Ham down,’ vows Moyes

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Awful football manager, David Moyes has pledged to take crisis club West Ham United down by at least one division.

Moyes, who is widely tipped to take over at West Ham, has adapted his management style over the years to guarantee complete failure wherever he goes.

Moyes has noticed that West Ham are around the relegation area, but not down yet; he hopes to change that.

‘When you employ David Moyes, you get the full deal – no chance of success, whatsoever,’ offered Moyes.

‘What sort of world have we created where I keep being re-employed?’ asked Moyes.