Long wait for the football season is finally over

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Football returns today, having been away since last night’s game in the Europa League finished at around half nine.

An early start this season will allow for a winter break for the players; an opportunity for them to go on an exhausting four match tour of the Far East.

Football fan Peter Thape is looking forward to being angry for the next nine months, whilst spending tremendous amounts of money for the privilege.

‘I love football…I think,’ said Thape.

‘What else am I meant to do? Spend the time with my wife and family?’ asked Thape.