‘Olympics definitely going ahead,’ say pissed-up Japanese


Whilst we weren’t watching, the whole of Japan started taking mind-bending drugs, and then made an announcement about the Olympics going ahead in a few weeks’ time.

Maybe they’ve not particularly noticed a bit of virus problem with the whole world, but the claim that it will all go ahead seems a tad ambitious.

Not only are the thousands of athletes unable to qualify, train, or move between countries, they can’t even buy a bar of soap.

‘Olympics go ahead with no problems,’ said drunk Japanese man, Peter Sushi-Thape.

‘I kill you all if disagree,’ added Sushi-Thape.