Parents demand that Sports Day lasts longer

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Schools have decided to extend Sports Day to last 3-4 days after parents complained that it wasn’t going on for long enough.

Parents are applying for extra time off work in the hope that they can see the entire school divided up into 100 groups of 4, performing 6 different types of poorly regulated party games.

Local parent, Peter Thape is still giggling after watching 270 different children forget to collect the second bean bag before going through the hoop, instead of the other way around.

‘I’ve been clapping for nine hours. Kill me,’ requested Thape.

‘Don’t have children. This is the stuff they don’t warn you about,’ added Thape.