Premier League footballer has no tattoos

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A premier League footballer has been discovered without his arms or neck covered in tattoos.

It is believed that the unnamed player has been withdrawn from the first team squad, and asked to train with the youth team until he changes his attitude. Peter Thape is the chairman of the Professional Footballers Association (PFA) and he explained that all the players are given a felt-tip each summer and told to prepare their arms and neck for the coming season.

‘These lads train hard on their biro work in pre-season,’ said PFA chief, Thape.

‘If this lad can’t colour-in properly, what can he bring to the squad?’ asked Thape.