Rugby players told not to shake hands before the game

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Rugby players have been advised not to touch each other before this afternoon’s games, to avoid any possible spread of Coronavirus.

But how useful is that advice in a game in which most of the players will achieve full penetration after a few minutes?

Local rugby player, Peter Thape is playing today, and he’ll spend much of the game holding another man’s scrotal sack, whilst rimming a team mate.

‘We’d be better off getting a gonorrhoea vaccination,’ said Thape.