Women’s football finally achieves parity with the men’s game by sacking the England manager after a witch-hunt

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Women’s football has taken a giant step towards equality with the men’s game by sacking the relatively successful England manager for some off the field nonsense.

England, and Arsenal Ladies forward, Murial Hislop has been angered by claims that the women’s game is immeasurably behind men’s football, and hopes that the sacking of Mark Sampson will show how far the women’s game has come.

Hislop hopes that this advance in the women’s game could lead to ridiculous wages, kick-off times that suit China, and a general disregard for the fans.

‘It’s been a big 12 months. We’ve learned spitting, cheating and swearing at the referee,’ said Hislop.

‘I’m taking a course in driving whilst drunk; One day I want to be captain,’ added Hislop.