Your nan to win the Tour de France


The Tour de France has become a right piece of piss for British cyclists, with all of us eventually set to win the race, including your nan.

The modern era does suit the British cyclist, with the main stage of the race being downhill towards the shops, and getting a Curly Wurly.

The wheelie section also suits the aspiring British cyclist, with the trickiest section being able to jump up kerbs smoothly, whilst at speed.

‘My nan’s doing it on her foldaway next year,’ said a cycling expert.

‘She can’t clip her slippers onto the pedals, though,’ he added.