Design of toilet to change

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The traditional shape of a toilet is going to be modified to accommodate men, whose dangly under-carriages are increasingly brushing the slopey bit of the bowl. 

A new bulbous section will be added to the front of the pan in response to a higher volume of calls to the National Helpline for toilet pan incursions. The majority of calls are from seated men who are experiencing a number two motion when simple contact occurs between percy and the porcelain. Peter Thape (32) has asked that we disguise his voice, but is happy to talk about his own quite unpleasant moment.

‘I’m not a porn star by some distance, with my less than average twig and berries, but I was just sitting there doing number two, when I felt the cold wet touch of the rim across my jap’s eye,’ said a shaken Thape.

‘Ten thousand years, we’ve had toilets – and this is the best we can do?’ asked Thape.