‘Cannabis to be paid for by Brexit,’ says May

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The government has agreed that Cannabis, and maybe a bit of weekend blow, will be paid for by the massive surplus of money that we’ll be getting after we leave the EU.

Everyone will be off their tits after March 2019, with all the extra money left over from funding the NHS.

From January, each household will receive a dooby kit, featuring a roller, some Rizlas and some shitty filters that you probably won’t use.

‘We’ll have so much money, it’s the least I can do,’ said May.

‘I bet that William Hague pulls a whitey,’ added May.