Theresa May to nosh off Trump for a trade deal

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Theresa May is to take one for the team from the midget-handed nutcase to help Britain get a favourable post-Brexit trade deal with America.

May is planning to meet with Trump in a Travel Lodge, as opposed to Chequers, to give the session a more appropriate setting.

The Cabinet has approved the move, with enthusiastic Brexiteer, Jacob Rees-Mogg offering to deputise for May, if needed.

‘We did worse things at Eton,’ said Rees-Mogg.

‘I’ve chosen Travel Lodge for the hash browns in the morning,’ added May.