Selby hands back World Snooker Championship trophy

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An angry Mark Selby has returned his world title after his success failed to even register on the 10 o’clock News.

Selby spent the entire evening at Sheffield’s Crucible Theatre competing with excited whispers about the progress of Leicester City. At one point Selby smashed his cue on the table to draw the audience’s attention away from the overhead screens that were showing the football. Selby used the distracting football to his advantage; twice moving the cue ball with his hand to a better position for his next shot.

‘I don’t know why I bothered winning, no one was even watching. I’ve just bet on Burnley for next season – you can get 3/1,’ said Selby.

‘Everyone’s so excited about Leicester, Leicester, Leicester. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that Wolfsburg did exactly the same thing in 2009.’ Selby added.